Perfect Girlfriend

Dear Future Husband to be,

I really don't know if I've met you or not. But lately I've met someone but I really don't know if you are him. Although whatever happens, I've learned a lot from this man.

You know how much I valued and kept myself from all the men in the world. I dreamt of being the perfect girl friend, the best of the best. But as soon as I got to open my heart to someone, I realized that wanting to be perfect, is a real burden to the relationship.

It's not really about being perfect or what, it's actually about facing mistakes and problems in a positive, faithful and hopeful way. I never expected that once my heart opens to someone, I am actually inviting problems and lots of heart aches in my heart. But hey, it's not something that you nor I should worry or be sad about, because that's the beauty of having someone. . it's seeing each other's growth and seeing the molding that is done in their lives. :) Molding isn't all about laughters and joys, it needs a whole bucket of tears and pains, and you know what's great about all of these? God knows from the start, that I will pass thru this.

That's the beauty of the molding process. God is always ready to catch me when i fall, or pick me up when I am down. . This is His way of strengthening my heart and sharpening my eyes to the beauty of every imperfect thing.

Bottom line here is. God is molding me by breaking my perfectionism. . and honestly? this man that i have in my life right now? He's helping me a lot like crazy. I had a lot of mistakes in our friendship but he gave me a lot of support in every single mistake that I've done. He's a huge help to me, second to my dad of course, but hey, all I'm saying is, it's all in God's plan. :)

Whoever you are, my future husband to be, I am currently being molded, and boy, is it tough; but i know as well, that it would be very rewarding in the end. :)

Praying for you always,

Your future wife :)

Lilies

ch. 2 v. 2 Lover

"Like a lily among thorns is my darling among the maidens"

Of all the flowers, it caught my attention as to why the man chose a lily instead of a rose. As the saying goes " The rose among the thorns. " Lilies symbolizes purity, innocence and chastity, while Rose symbolizes love, romance and beauty. In a very intimate situation I am amazed that the man chose a lily rather than a rose. What does that really say? I am not sure myself. But I do believe it has a meaning behind it :) Does innocence and purity attract men more than beauty and romance? I cannot grasp the meaning behind this verse yet. But I have a strong feeling that there was a reason why the man chose a lily rather than a rose.

Darling among the maidens. Darling means that a particular person is popular from certain group. Maidens are unmarried women. This is very sweet and loving :) Among all the unmarried women he considered the woman to be his only one. For a man this indeed is very tough. Men are visual. From the book "For women only" by Beth Moore, it explains there how men have struggles with sensual thoughts because of attractive women, how they are easily distracted.

The man in this verse said "My darling among the maidens" it's amazing how he still kept his eyes on his woman despite all those unmarried single women :) Now that's love :)

Eyes

v. 15 Lover

"How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh, how beautiful! Your eyes are doves."

Eyes. There's something about the eyes of a woman. It's pure and it is the window of a woman's heart. Doves portray innocence and grace... A woman isn't made to be always angry, wasn't made to be haughty but was made to be gentle and sweet. The eyes of a woman is as important as her heart. No wonder men are mostly attracted to women because of their eyes. :)

Beauty

v.6

"Do not stare at me because I am dark, because I am darkened by the sun."

Even in the past, women did have insecurities. Most women wouldn't want someone to look at them from the outside, coz of acne problems, dark skins, wrinkles, etc. I mean who could blame them? They had to work, at the same time maintain their beauty. Who could blame them when they have more sensitive skin than men have? Who could blame them when they find some of their security on the beauty. Women were created to be beautiful, men were created for another thing. Women values beauty more than work that's for sure.

"Do not stare at me because I am dark, because I am darkened by the sun. My mother's sons were angry with me and made me take care of the vineyards: my own vineyard I have neglected."

For me, this reveals the abuse towards women. Their inner beauty reveals their outward beauty. If they are abused from the inside ( abuse of their kindness, their care, their love, their touch ) it usually reveals from the outside. I believe what she is saying is that, "Please accept me for who I am, look at my good parts more than my bad ones." Acceptance is what she yearns, that's why she would usually serve others and completely forget about herself.

The abusive thought that women should always serve men, to the point that they could be looked down on. That is really wrong. Because women are the crown of men. As they say, a behind every successful/great man is a supportive wife. Support not Serve. I am not saying that women shouldn't serve their man, supporting also means serving but it ain't abusive. The serve that I mean here is that, its as if they are meant to just live for men, where they have less rights, less freedom, to the point that their aren't heard no more.

Women are not servants, they are encouragers, they are loving, they give strength to the weak, in short they bring beauty anywhere and everywhere they go. They produce beauty as they were made in beauty. But once they are abused, they become less beautiful leading to hurts and pains that discourages them to produce beauty and life.

The Beloved & The Lover

The Beloved is the woman and The Lover is the man.

v.3-4a Beloved

"Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes; your name is like perfume poured out. No wonder the maidens love you!...Take me away with you-let us hurry! Let the king bring me into his chambers."

I do wonder why she used the word perfume;

What is it with perfumes and name?

As a woman I do love the scent of men.

I love hugging my brother for he always smells so good!

That actually relaxes me and gives me security for some reason.

But as of I know smell could also trigger something else in the heart of a woman.

That one is between lovers already. :)

So I believe that is one reason why women shouldn't stick so much to their boyfriends.

Physical touch plus Crazy emotions plus the scent of a man triggers something.

A note to women, they should learn how to keep their distance

especially when they're emotionally unstable towards their man.

Could it be that the scent of a man actually has a huge effect for sexual desires?

It is possible, but I am not completely sure.

I would, once I get married. :)

As of now, I should back off from physical touch towards men,

especially that I am single. :)

v.5a Beloved

"Dark am I, yet lovely..."

Dark am I, yet lovely this is the phrase that attracted me the most.

There's so much in this single phrase.

It brings out the real beauty of a woman, her insecurity, her self-image, her identity.

I believe that the 'dark' mentioned here isn't literally the color,

but the way a woman looks at herself.

There are a lot of women out there, including me, who has so much insecurities.

One of the major insecurity is her beauty, her looks.

For this, no matter how she sees herself in the outside,

she should be confident on what she has in the inside.

For me, Dark is the outside appearance, and lovely is the inner appearance.

"Let the inner beauty come out

and no matter how you look on the outside

you would be beautiful."

Song of Songs c.1 v.1-5a